It’s been so ridiculously gorgeous of late that I’m actually protesting the sunshine and looking forward to gray. Not that it shows in my paintings; the sky was beautiful on Saturday so I ran up to the roof and took some photos I could paint from.
This sunset has been the real mvp, keeping me company after my wisdom-teeth removal.
I mentioned in my driving post that I’m trying to stop saying “I wish I was good at x” - instead I’m trying to just invest time into things I like and accept that I’ll get good at them as a byproduct.
Painting is a good candidate for this. Mostly I paint because it’s fun (and I love wandering around covered in paint splatters). It gives me nice productivity!feels, and after a day staring at my computer screen it can be really nice to interact with the real, tactile world.
Enjoying activites for their own sake is something I’m working on - most of the time I enjoy having-produced-x or being-someone-who-does-y, but being present and enjoying the work/activity itself takes effort.
I find it easier to enjoy things when there’s no pressure - don’t get me wrong, I love challenges and fast-paced situations (I most enjoy cooking when I’m simultaneously making 3 different things and also doing the dishes) - but if my identity/self-worth is wrapped up in performing well, I probably won’t enjoy it.
Fortunately good-at-painting isn’t something I identify as, so it doesn’t matter to me what the results are.
I’m generally a fan of lessons/classes as a way to learn without meta-level-effort (even if they’re slower/more expensive than 100% putting your mind to something), but in this case I think I have a lot to gain from just have-at’ing it until I know what in particular I struggle with (and if I even want to improve at it!)
For now, I’m just having fun :)